Music is something I write often about, but have noticed that with my diminished writing lately, so are the music posts. But music plays such a significant role in my life. Daily it surrounds me. And urges me to create and reflect and analyze.
And I think we all have times when we hear a song and think, “Hey, this was playing when _________.” And fill in any random life moment. It connects us to memories and the past.
And there are two songs by Buffy Sainte-Marie when I think, “These songs were playing when my mom died.” That morning, when we knew death was upon her, I went to the cd player that I had on every day and put in a soft, instrumental cd that my mom had bought while in Scotland. And then I thought, “This is not the music she should die to.” And I put in Buffy Sainte-Marie, chose her favorite song, He’s An Indian Cowboy In The Rodeo and then Starwalker, and I cranked it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGyh7lRLihA He’s An Indian Cowboy In The Rodeo
Aren’t these amazing songs? They bring me joy and heartache and call to my inner Wild Woman. I can feel the pressure build within my chest with anticipation if great things to come, because I know I am my mother’s daughter. And she the daughter of my grandmother, and so on.
And I held my mom’s hand, and sang to her while I cried. And then she died.