Too young…

The other day I counted how many of my close friends and family have lost a parent, much too early. 8. I know 8 people who have gone through a similar loss as I have. And it breaks my heart. And I am sure there are more that I am not remembering, which I apologize for.

While amm was sick and with her passing, talking to these confidants was a key part of my grieving process. Just having someone to talk to about similar feelings and thoughts didn’t make me feel as alone. Although everyone’s situations are different, we all have felt the sadness in our being of a parent dying young, while we were young ourselves.

This area of amm’s website is dedicated for anyone to share about their loss of a parent. It can be an outlet for your thoughts or feelings or memories. You can share stories of your parent. You can just read what others have written, if anyone chooses to share.

There’s no pressure to participate. And no criteria for sharing. Any loss that you may have experienced, no matter the age.

It can be our own little support network…


4 thoughts on “Too young…”

  1. Too Young……….So true for so many of us.

    I was almost 23 when I lost my mom. She was almost 59 when she passed away. My mom and I had our birthdays 1 day apart. That was almost 35 years ago.

    Now I am almost 57 and wonder if I will outlive her. No, that’s not correct, I KNOW that I will outlive her. She had cancer and a “not very smart” doctor, whereas I live in a time where diagnosis and treatment has advanced and MY doctor is more alert to such things. I no longer waste any time wondering or worrying about it.

    Life went on………….and on…………….and then I woke up one morning and couldn’t remember what my mom looked like and I couldn’t remember what her laugh sounded like.
    The worst kind of panic attacked me……….how could that possibly happen, how could I forget what she looked like or the sound of her laugh ?? Well, I found a picture quickly enough. Phew !! It was 2 or 3 months before the sound of her laugh came back to me though. That nagged at me every day. I have not had that happen since, thank god. That is a horrible feeling!!

    Next chapter… the passing of the last and final parent……..later.

  2. Linda, thank-you so much for sharing. I have worried that I will forget the sound of my mom’s voice, or how she looked throughout her life. I don’t want it to happen and then feel that I love or miss my mom any less. Even though I know that isn’t what it will mean…

    While mom was in the hospital I would lay in bed with her and just breathe her in. I would smell her and try to memorize it. I loved the way she smelled and wanted to remember it forever. I am sure I spent hours just nuzzled into her neck, breathing her in with every breath that I took.


  3. Norma Jean said:

    Too young.

    Kirsten, thank you for having such courage and knowing what people need even if they don’t know they need it.

    Linda, I don’t know you but thank you so much for sharing.

    I lost my mom two years ago. I can still hardly bring myself to write those words. I too worry that I will forget her laugh, how she looked or really, anything about her. Or, worse, that I would forget her likes and dislikes, that I will see something and think “Mom would have liked that” when really she wouldn’t have liked it at all. I know that’s a strange worry.

    I also have this unconscious thought process where I have separated all belongings in my life to a “before” or “after” category. I find it extremely difficult to part with anything I had “before”. I don’t even really think about it I just instinctively know that an item is from the before or after period. Parting with things from the after category doesn’t bother me but parting with anything from the before category causes a few moments of panic. I am starting to worry this will result in me being on an episode of hoarders in a few years.

    For example, when Mom was sick I used to get so mad at the world for doing this to my Mom and for taking her away from me. One way I found to let this anger out was to yell in my car while driving: full out yell at the top of my lungs.
    It was a much needed release and really helped me. Now, I am attempting to sell this “before” car but I seem to keep rationalizing keeping it. This was my car that Mom and I drove in together last and I think this is making me want to keep it forever.

    I’ll keep you posted…we’ll see if I can sign the pink slip on Saturday when someone is supposed to come and pick it up.

  4. Norma Jean,
    You are a strong daughter who was committed to your mother in every single way. And still are. Hugs to you.
    Maybe try taking pictures of the ‘before’ items before you get rid of them. I have taken so many pictures of my mom’s things before garbaging them. It makes it easier knowing that I can look back on the photos, but not actually need to keep the stuff.
    Love to you – Kirsten

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