I did well with letting go of certain things this Christmas. The big one was removing people on my Christmas letter mailing list. After my mom died,  I found her list of people she sent a letter to, and I added that list to my own. Some people I knew. Others I didn’t. And for the last 6 years, I had sent a Christmas letter to these additions. This year, I cut my mailing list. I thought a lot about it. For days. And then I just did it. 6 years is a long time to keep sending Christmas letters to people that I didn’t know directly.

So, if you had been receiving letters from me and then this year you did not, please don’t take it personally. This was a process that I needed to do for myself. And not a reflection of anything else.

This was big for me.

If you truly did enjoy getting the letters, then please let me know. I won’t refuse to send you one. 🙂

I also “put out” less Christmas decorations this year. I put up the tree, a few small kitchen items and hung the Christmas cards I received. But that was it. I didn’t put out my mom’s Party Lite little town this year. At first I thought I would eventually, but then never did. But maybe I will next year. I hope that life for Christmas 2016 will be a bit more settled for me, and will allow even more time to devote to and enjoy the holiday season. I will admit that this year I felt the most ability to enjoy the weeks leading to Christmas this year, as opposed to any other previous years. But there is always room for improvement.

Another goal I had was to feel that I had enough time to enjoy the lit tree, late at night. Sitting on the couch and reading by the light of the tree. And while I consider taking down the tree tomorrow, I question if I have enjoyed it enough. But then I ask myself, “Will I ever feel that I have had enough time to read?” Probably not. Because I always have more books than time it feels, which is  a good problem to have. I have made it a priority to be in the living room more than I normally am, these last few weeks. So I think I need to change my how I have been defining success for these things. And I know that this is extremely morbid, but I do catch myself thinking thoughts like, “What if this is the last time I ever put up a Christmas tree?” And that makes it harder to let go…

Advertisements