I have been writing all about me! How selfish. As there are many other people who have also been affected by my body’s recent decision to add some excitement to our lives.
Dear little Arrine. She is a doll. And she has been amazing through all of this. So many people would ask how I am doing, and then right away, “And how is Arrine?”
Well, there were definitely some times that were not great. At first when I was bedridden, she would bring her books and toys and tablet into bed with me. And just play by my side. I would save my energy during the day and then be able to get her to bed at least, with the help of my dad. And then I would just be going to sleep at the same time as her, around 8pm. No complaints. Just accepting that mommy is super tired and not feeling well.
But once I was in the hospital, it was harder on her. We explained to her the best we could what was going on, and always asked if she had any questions, but she never did. During her visits, she wouldn’t get in the bed with me, or want to hug or kiss me. And that broke my heart. But I didn’t push it. I can’t imagine the thoughts going through her little head. All she knew that mommy was not as she was before. And we didn’t have anything else to really tell her.
But through all this, Nick told me that she was still the amazing little girl she normally always is. So that did make my time away from her a teeny bit more tolerable.
And then one day she visited and got into bed with me and I got hugs and kisses. It was after we were able to tell her that I would be going home the next week. I think it just took her having a tangible end to my time in the hospital. And once I was able to get up and go on walks with my super cool walker, it was slowly shifting back to what she once knew.
And now in her eyes, things are almost the same as before. She knows that mommy is more tired now. And can’t walk as long and do all the things she could do before yet, but she is so patient with me. And told me she would bring me my pills and bandaids. So I have my own little nurse. And we cuddle and hug and she plays my bum as the drums again. All is well.
I also need to send a shout-out to Nick. He just took over parenting full-time for weeks and came for visits as much as he could with Arrine. I asked him if I owed him three weeks in a row with Arrine, and he assured me he wasn’t expecting that. 🙂 Not having a single worry about Arrine’s care through all this was amazing support that no one else could have given me. Nick is a good guy – remember that Nick, no matter what anyone else says about ya!
So there you go. A post not all about me. But about the other super duper special people in my life. Which I am blessed and grateful for with each breath I take.