These last couple of months have been really good for me, from my Wild Woman perspective. I know some of you may feel like all I talk about is my flipping Wild Woman and the book, Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, but man. This book is so goooooooooood. I have been taken through how our inner psyche processes relationships, love, passions, happiness and motherhood. And I am only half way through it. But the stronger my relationship becomes with my Wild Woman, the happier I have become too.
True happiness entered my life again when I let the death of my mom go. But there were (are) still things I struggled (struggle) with and was working on letting go. And these last two months have been amazing for that. Then, just the other night, I was faced with a decision that was being answered by my Wild Woman. I will never forget it. I was in the shower, hands rinsing the soap from my hair and my inner voice (Wild Woman) said, “Nope. Don’t do it.” And I went against her advice and said, “It will be fine.”
It wasn’t fine. I was knocked down again from the outcome of my decision to not listen to my Wild Woman. But this time not only was I hurt, but I was mad at myself for being so stupid! I really did know better, but expected a different outcome, when really, there was no indication that things would be different.
The universe has been showing me signs lately. And I have been really good at accepting them and not trying to change anything about how events play out – this is connected to that control issue that I have and love to try to apply to all aspects of my life. And this is just another sign. And I am seeing it, and acknowledging it and accepting it. A hard, sad sign.
Yesterday when I was in the middle of all of this, I was testing my bestie Tee about it. Then I sent her this:
I love how we can still laugh when our hearts are sad.