Today was a good day. It started a little rough when Arrine was a super grump head when she woke up, but it soon got better. Here is my day in somewhat point form, for an easier read.

  • I told Arrine was the anniversary of Grandma Anne-Marie passing, and that she should wear a red dress because Grandma Anne-Marie loved red. She agreed. Then later when dropping her off at daycare she chose her pink indoor shoes to wear because, “Pink is close to red. And Grandma Anne-Marie loved red.”
  • My friend Haley and I headed off into the rain on Hwy 2 to Calgary. The plan was shoe shopping at Arnold Churgin. Along the way I asked her if she was excited for the shoes (she had never been before) and she replied, “Oh, I’m not going to get any shoes. I am just along for the ride.” And I shockingly replied, “Oh, you are GOING to buy shoes.”
  • When we stopped in Red Deer for a quick break, we were talking about how neither of us had a good breakfast and Haley said, reaching into her purse, “Well I have a gigantic Fruit & Nut bar!” And I started crying, right in the Tim Hortons and said, “That was my mom’s favourite chocolate bar…” And then proceeded to tell her how I used to always bug my mom about her chocolate bar choice, because it really seems so gross.
  • We saw a cow on the loose in the ditch and it was wearing a red and blue hat.
  • Arnold Churgin was amazing. Haley bought three pairs!! So I had to buy three pairs too, of course. We kept giggling at how our feet felt like they were in clouds and how soft the leather was. And the gentleman helping us schooled Haley on heels, being a girl and her colour palette.
  • I had Taco Time for lunch. I am just realizing now that my mom loved Taco Time.
  • Then we rushed back to the city and I dropped H off and took Arrine to her haircut.
  • Once we got home, I found a beautiful flower that our realtor left on the kitchen counter. It was a single gerbera daisy in a short container…it was orange. So not red…but close! Does anyone remember the flower settings we had at the Anne-Marie Merle Wear Your Red Celebration?? Ummm, yah. Same thing.
  • Then Arrine and I had corn on the cob for supper and got some great news that an offer was made on our duplex. So after Arrine was out of the bath, our realtor came back over for us to sign the paperwork. And then I told her I had to tell her the connection to the flower. And I cried. And then she cried a bit and we hugged. And Nick just stood there. But he was part of the moment.
  •  Once Arrine was in bed, I whipped out my sewing machine for a quick mend. And then painted my nails. And then started to write.

So besides all these fan-frickin-tastic bullet points, I received lovely texts and emails and FB comments and messages. And one of my former teachers told me that she was at a baby shower at my old house in NB today and she was thinking of my mom. And another former teacher messaged me with such kind words as well. Makes my heart happy.

I felt very different on past anniversaries. Darker. I wish I had let her death defining me go YEARS ago. 🙂 Today was a good day, thinking of my mom. Past years my thought process was that I had to do things because my mom did them. But this year, I did things that I love doing, and they are things that my mom did too, because she is a part of me. I shoe shopped. I painted my nails. I did some mending/sewing. I hugged and kissed Arrine extra. And all my tears were good tears.