Besides just missing my mom in a general sense, the next thing I miss the most is the ability of asking her questions. Every day I need to work on being ok with never having certain questions answered.
Women Who Run With the Wolves – Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype – is a book that I found in my mom’s library. And one of the books I placed a sticker on the inside page: “From the library of Anne-Marie Merle”. And for some reason, unknown at the time, I took this book, with no real reason why, and put it on my bookshelf. I think I knew I needed to read it, without being ready to read it yet.
But now I am. I started reading. And I know this is the third book of words that is carrying me through my spiritual journey. My mom made notes in this book – I adore her handwriting – and she also flagged passages. Someday I will write about what I am learning through this book, but for now, as I go along, I will just highlight the passages that she flagged. This connects back to me needing to be content with never knowing. Why did she flag this paragraph? What did it mean to her? Why did she feel it was important? I can wonder and hypothesize. And then I just re-read the words again. And find peace in reading the pages my mom did, and holding the book as she did, and breathing in her breath that she would have left within.
Additionally, I detail for you some of the craft – the experiential and artful play – that helps women retain the numen of their work in conscious memory. These last two are taken from my workshops on emergence of our wildish natures. As I hope you will see, they are tangible ways to soften old scar tissues, balm old wounds, and restore old skills in a down-to-earth manner.