Nick and Arrine are spending time in Sylvan for Easter. And I have really been struggling with being away from her for this holiday. It’s so very hard to not be there with her this weekend. So that just added to my sadness surrounding this morning.

Arrine has discovered gum. So this morning when she asked for a piece, she agreed when I told her she could have a piece after she ate her breakfast that Nick had for her to eat in the car. But then during her trip to the loo before the road trip, I asked her if she wiped and she said, “Yes.” But I am a mom and I know when she’s not telling me the truth. I asked her if she was being truthful and she said, “Yes.” Another lie. And then she tried to flush the evidence away by holding the toilet seat down!!! I was so upset with her! She asked for her gum and I told her that she isn’t rewarded with gum for lying. And then the tears came. I tried to have a talk with her about it but she couldn’t settle down. So then Nick is trying to leave and I am trying to say good-bye and she wouldn’t hug or kiss me. So then I started crying. I knew that I was doing the right thing by not giving in and letting her have the gum (right??) so that she would stop crying. But my heart was breaking as she was leaving me sad, and I was sad, and it was just sad all around. So they left.

And then I put on a coat over my pi’s and threw on some flip-flops to quickly head out in the snow before they left and I tried to talk to her again. But she was still crying. So through my tears, I told her that I love her and I didn’t want her to leave sad and it made me sad. And that was it. There was nothing else I could do.

I hate gum.