amm was the person in my life that I went to for support, guidance, encouragement and praise. Which I think is normal in a healthy mother / daughter relationship. But when she died I instantly didn’t have that main person I relied on. And I sought for the position to be filled. Over the past four years I have found that person to rely on in different friendships and relationships, but they haven’t been consistent.
My needs shift. Their priorities change. And I no longer have them to rely on. But I have found a new person to rely on and I have no worries that they will ever be too busy for me or they won’t have me as a priority and they have no biased opinions.
Me. I rely on me now.
These past few months I have found myself faced with a challenge or tough decision and even though sometimes my first instinct is to call someone for help, I have chosen not to pick up the phone. I figure it out on my own – which is much more satisfying.
I’m not saying that I’ll never want / need input and support from friends and family. It’s just that I don’t need to go to someone the moment I am faced with a challenge.
I feel this surge of strength knowing I have no dependence upon a single person…especially since I know how quickly they can be gone from your life.