Why did I think that I would be ok with today? Why did I not take the day off of work? I guess because I thought I have been through anniversary deaths enough that this isn’t new for me. But when I woke up after a restless sleep and just felt drained, and recognized the signs of stress my body was trying to tell myself, and crying on the way to work, it was very apparent I wasn’t ready for this.
Grandma ‘Leen. I am trying to remember her not in the hospital, but when those are the last memories I had of her this time of year last year, it’s hard to remember anything different. I need to remember the cherry tarts and pickled beets and farm kitties and camping trips and Scrabble and chicken fingers. And her candy dish and getting mad when I would pull the skin off of the turkey to eat it and the pull out ledge in their farm kitchen I spent hours at, colouring and doing crafts. And the party line at the farm and the dirt floor basement and the potato garden.
Love and hugs to you, Grandma ‘Leen.