But she loved to dance. I can picture her dance moves right now. I could try to imitate them, but I wouldn’t do them justice. Although I feel I radiate joy when I dance, amm radiated this raw joy. This joy of dance that had no formal training or technique or agenda. She just danced. Moving to the music.

Although she was not a Dancer, she gave me the opportunity to be one. And in dance I found a way to express myself with no words. A way to meditate without sitting still. A way to find happiness in a day that was not happy.

Yesterday was rough. But when I got to the studio and set foot on that hardwood floor, I left the roughness behind. I focused on me. And for two hours it was about placing this hand here, and pointing this foot there, and watching myself in the mirror thinking of amm watching me through the viewing window.

And for those two hours I was happy and with amm as her raw dance came through my chasses and cramprolls.