Smashing Pumpkins has been a favourite band of mine since they first became popular with their second album in the early 90’s. I then purchased their first album and every album after that. Billy Corgan is a poet whose words connect with me. And he has been there for me when I have needed him the most. I have memories of turning on his music, lying on my floor, arms stretched out, closing my eyes and just listening. Hearing.

And on this past Thursday, I was able to see the Smashing Pumpkins live in concert again. And it was perfect timing. For the majority of the concert, they played tunes off of their latest album, but promised that they would play some of the older favourites from past albums. And they did.

These were the songs that really spoke to me.

Tonight Tonight‘s lyrics, in particular, “Believe. Believe in me. Believe.” Those words seemed louder to me compared to the rest of the words in the song.

Zero‘s lyrics, have always resonated with me. Especially the following, “Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness. And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me.” And even more, “I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down.”

But the part of the night that brought me to tears? When my favourite song of all time was played. And I was able to listen to it live. And before the notes began to fill the stadium, Billy Corgan said something along the lines of, “I was at a time in my life where I could either kill myself or write this song. I chose to write this song.”

Today and the lyrics.

amm knew of my love for Smashing Pumpkins. And I know if she was still here, I would have told her every bit about the concert and she would have loved hearing about it. Especially what I chose to wear. 🙂