What is a girl to do on a day like this? Well, cuddle up on the couch with some delish Edo, a cold glass of milk and Long Island Medium. Oh, and a handsome black cat on my lap.

Earlier tonight I made sure I got extra hugs and cuddles with Arrine. And when I didn’t want to go to dance, I still went. Knowing I would want to be there once I got there. And when my girlfriend asked how I was when I saw her at class, I just started crying, and she came and gave me a hug and rubbed my back.

So. Two steps forward, one step back. This is a phrase that my friend Trisha and I have used in the past number of weeks. I know I am growing, because when I had days like this before, it was just that – days. Days of sadness and loneliness and more sadness. But tonight, I am already feeling better about things. It’s been less than 24 hours. More like 12 hours and I am already feeling uplifted and encouraged that I have learned and become stronger from this bout of sadness.

Today was a little step back…and now I need to focus on those two big steps forward.

I can’t say that amm would be disappointed in me. I don’t think she ever could be. But she would want me to be learning from these times of sadness and taking those steps forward. And minimizing the step back.

This has been a bit of a rambling post. And my thoughts are all over. But they are thoughts that will move me forward….as soon as I get this cat off my lap.

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