Since I began this new grieving process, even though I knew I was doing it, I still did it – I avoided. A song would come on the radio with a certain connection – I turned the channel. A particular location or activity could take me back to a time and memory – I just wouldn’t go.
But the other day I noticed that twice in one day, songs came on the radio that I normally turned off…but I let them play and accepted them. Then this morning, Arrine and I went to a spray park. She had a wonderful time, but I had to face some history. Isn’t amazing how seemingly unrelated events can be connected so significantly and are etched in your mind? I had a wonderful time too. Running through the water and watching Arrine squeal and be a kid and just have fun.
I am not completely not avoiding…but I am not completely avoiding. Working on it.
And on the way home, a certain song came on the radio…and we listened to it all.
When I wake up…
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who wakes up next to you
When I go out…
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who goes along with you
If I get drunk…
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who gets drunk next you
And if I heaver
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who’s heavering to you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man who walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door
When I’m walking…
I know I’m going to be that man who’s walking hard for you
And the money…
Cause for the work I do I’ll pass almost every penny onto you
When I come home…
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who comes back home to you
And if I go…
Yea I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who going over you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man to walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
When I’m lonely…
well I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who’s lonely without you
And when I’m dreaming…
Well I know I’m going to Dream I’m going to dream about our time when I’m with you
When I go out…
Well I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who goes along with you
And when I come home…
I know I’m going to be I’m going to be that man who comes back home for you
I’m going to be that man who’s coming home for you
But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man to walks a thousand to fall down at your door
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
(Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Undela Undela Undela la la la)
And I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man to walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door
I get it.
I get it while I read this comment, in my living room, hair soaking wet from the shower, sitting on the couch while I cry.
That was the exact same song that I thought of when I read “Avoiding no more:” I don’t think any of us can hear that song and not have memories. Hugs to both of you.
Really?? 🙂