For this particular post, you all need to get past the fact that I watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kim & Kourtney Take New York. I like to think that these shows are evened out with intellectual shows that I also watch, like Law & Order and SNL, right? And the odd DocZone.

I consider reality TV as ‘background’ shows. TV to put on in the background while I do other things, like ironing or going through emails or doing my nails, because you really don’t need to be concentrating on the content. Not that I am defending myself, simply explaining the reasoning behind it. 🙂

Ok, but what does this have to do with amm? The other day I was enjoying a Kardashian marathon and there were two episodes that brought me to tears. Yes, tears. The first episode followed the girls during the time leading to the anniversary of their father’s death. And it made me cry – they had home movies of him to watch and I was jealous. And then a more current episode followed Kim as she decided to meet with John Edward the medium, to connect with her dad. And I thought of how I too have considered doing the same. And so I cried again.

I wish I had home videos of amm when she was well. All I have are videos I took when we were in the hospital, and it takes a certain emotional state to watch those. One that I hardly ever have.