I really want to sew Arrine her first Hallowe’en costume. amm made so many costumes for me between Hallowe’en and dance, it just seems the right thing to do. For me to carry on this tradition. I don’t want to ever think back and regret not sewing Arrine her very first Hallowe’en costume. So the other afternoon, Nick, Arrine and I went to Fabricland to find a pattern. I was hoping to find a costume pattern from one of the lines that are easier to make. Because really, I don’t have a ton of time to be sewing a costume for Arrine to wear once and spit up on, but I still want to sew it. We spent 40 minutes of me humming and hawing between the two, yes two, patterns that were appropriate for infants. One for really cute jungle animals, although I would need to be a professional seamstress to pull off the details with about 89 extra hours of time on my hands, the other a basic pattern of boring costumes. We left empty handed. And I felt discouraged.

When I was young and amm made me stand still for fittings or presented me with a new stuffed animal that she sewed, I didn’t think much about where the costume or toy really came from, or the time it took to make it. Later in years I remember asking amm where she found the time to sew for us kids. She explained that she would stay up after we had gone to bed, sometimes into the early morning sewing. And I imagined her, tucked in the basement of our homes in Saskatoon and North Battleford, sewing under dim lighting. I want Arrine to imagine me doing the same one day.

The search for the perfect pattern continues…