The other day I was with Arrine, Nick and his family. We were getting organized to leave for another location and I said, “Let’s went!” They all kinda looked at me funny and I said, “My mom used to always say that.” And Nick replied, “She did??”

So I said that I had best use this saying more often if Nick didn’t even know it was one of her sayings!

You should use it too!

LET’S WENT!

From Harry Potter…

“Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign … to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever.”

The Glass Castle was a book that was given to me or suggested that I read by Anth & Julie when amm was first ill and in the hospital. At least that’s how I remember it. Please correct me if I am wrong. But this book. I can’t even describe the power it had over me. Jeanette Walls told the story of her life and it was so captivating that I remember sitting next to amm and reading. And reading. And reading. And someone would come to visit her and I would say, “Yah, have some time with her, I’ll just go out in the waiting room to read.” And they would say, “Oh, you can stay in the room with us.” And I would reply, “No, no. It’s ok. Have your time with her.” Because really, I could get some good uninterrupted time reading when in the waiting room.

I like to think that because amm loved books so much that she would understand and be ok with me choosing to spend time with my book instead of my dying mother. I read a lot in those three months.

So, fast forward to present day. I have a friend who has never really read. And by that I mean “amm reading”. Which to me, is always reading before bed, reading on vacation, reading while eating breakfast, reading while on the deck. Reading. They’ve read a lot of non-fiction, but never immersed themselves in novel after novel. So we started a book club – can it still be called a club if there are only two members?

I got to choose the first book. And I chose The Glass Castle. It needed to be a novel that really captivated them, right from the start. And it did. Well, then they got a little off-track, but soon was back reading almost every night and ended up staying up much past bedtime to finish the book. I re-read the book as well. And what I appreciated was how I was able to relate to the story in a different way since amm died.

I let out hard cries when Jeanette describes taking her father’s hand in the hospital after he has had a heart attack, and holds it. Then an hour later they turned the machines off. It took me to the day we did the same for amm.

What I love about this new book club is seeing what reading this novel did for my friend. When we set time aside to talk about the book, they did the majority of the talking. Analyzing, sharing their thoughts, wondering about questions that were left unanswered. And seeing the excitement in their eyes while doing so. That’s what reading does. It puts a twinkle in your eye. It really does.

So now that we have finished The Glass Castle, it was up to the other book club member to choose the book. And we’ve decided upon Harry Potter. It may seem like an unexpected choice, but I knew it was right the second it was suggested. amm had read the entire Harry Potter series and thoroughly enjoyed it. And I have always wanted to read the books as well because amm had, but never have.

I think amm really chooses the books for this book club, wouldn’t you agree?

I couldn’t remember the last time I made fruit salad. Which was sad, because amm always had fruit salad on the weekends. So I threw together some apples, nectarines, strawberries and bananas into a colorful salad. And when I served it to Arrine I knew I had allowed too much time to pass since the last amm fruit salad I made, because she said, “This isn’t salad Mamma. Salad is green.”

Ok, so not all of my researchers are catholic, but anyhoo, they are wonderful friends and family, helping me out.

From Karen

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

From Trisha

It’s cuddle time with amm. For me and Alby.

I need your assistance, Catholics.

This past weekend I was in Vegas and was chatting with some gentlemen from Boston. They asked about my Blessed Be tattoo and I told them the story. No details about how amm passed away, just that she had died and then told them the detailed story of the tattoo.

When I mentioned she had died they each said something to me. And that’s what I need your assistance on. I can’t remember exactly what they said. But it was something like “May God rest her soul” or “God bless her” or “May she rest in peace” or ????

They also each poured a bit of the drink they were holding onto the ground, saying it was for my mom.

But it was loud around us and distracting and not the easiest to ask them to explain what they had done. Except now I wish that I had.

So Catholics? Can you help a girl out?

What zee heck happened?

Oh. And I am totally assuming they were Catholic.

Last week while driving to work, I looked over and saw a rosary hanging from the rearview mirror in the car next to me. Immediately I thought of the rosaries we left at amm’s gravestone at Batoche.

Minutes later I looked at another car next to me. It too had a rosary hanging from the rearview mirror. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw one, let alone two, rosaries in cars next to me during a single drive anywhere.

So then I said, “Hi mom.”

I am going through some Christmas cards that weren’t filed properly earlier this year. And I found a note from amm’s dear friend LT. She shared how she showed the Christmas picture of Arrine from our Christmas letter to a couple of amm’s other dear friends and how they commented on seeing amm in Arrine. As there were a few ladies at LT’s home for a dinner party, the ladies all began to tell those who didn’t know amm how special she was and how they miss her.

What a fabulous Christmas gift.

Last night Trisha and I went to the Winspear to watch Serena Ryder perform. We will both be blogging about it in the upcoming weeks and I will post a link to that site here, as the performance made such an impact on us both, it needs to be highlighted on it own.

I wasn’t familiar with all of her songs, but when Serena began to play Little Bit Of Red and we listened to a couple of verses, Trisha leaned into me and whispered amongst the music, “This is like a song your mom is singing for you.”

Little Bit Of Red – Serena Ryder

Hey you, say you wanna start over again
Like I ever wanted it to be any different
I’ve been watching all your colors fade to blue

Said you’d come back like I want you, want you
Stop pretending everything’s all right, oh

Baby blue, oh, baby blue
Come here, I’m gonna smear another color over you
Get out of bed, you little sleepy head
Your black and white needs a little bit of red
Your black and white needs a little bit of red, ooh

Couldn’t handle pressure life had put you through
Thought you might have bit a little more than you could chew
No, I don’t believe it when you say I will make it up to you

Said you’d come back, didn’t want you to, want you to
Still pretending everything’s alright, oh

Baby blue, oh, baby blue
Come here, I’m gonna smear another color over you
Get out of bed, you little sleepy head
Your black and white needs a little bit of red
Your black and white needs a little bit of red

Baby blue, oh, oh
Baby blue, oh, oh

Oh, baby blue, oh, baby blue
Come here, I’m gonna smear another color over you
Get out of bed, you little sleepy head
Your black and white needs a little bit of red

Oh, baby blue, oh, baby blue
Come here, I’m gonna smear another color over you
Get out of bed, you little sleepy head
Your black and white needs a little bit of red
Your black and white needs a little bit of red